


The Russian Hypospray Incident

by agent00ebil



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Academy Era, Based off Community, Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-26
Updated: 2013-06-26
Packaged: 2017-12-16 05:16:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/858220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agent00ebil/pseuds/agent00ebil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James has an Idea, Pavel needs his ID Chip Back, and Bones is just along for the Whiskey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Russian Hypospray Incident

**Author's Note:**

> this story is to fill [this prompt](http://strek-id-kink.livejournal.com/1695.html?thread=739487#t739487) at the strek-id-kink lj-community, which is a request based of [this Community(TV) clip](http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=K7ZcDShqCl0)

James Kirk walked into his dorm where his roommate was lounging on his bed, reading a medical journal.

“Bones,” he announced, as grandly and pompously as he could, “I have plan.”

Leonard McCoy, the aforementioned Bones, sighed and rolled his eyes, “What is it this time, kid?”

“Remember Jailbait from last night? The poor kid looked absolutely crushed when they took his I.D. chip -”

“- as is the proper procedure when caught underage drinking - “

James gave Bones an annoyed look for interrupting him.

“Awe, Bones, it was just a sip. Anyways, I’ve got a plan to get his chip back –”

Leonard gave James a skeptical look, “…and why should I get mixed up in one of your crazy schemes?”

James gave Leonard his best puppy dog eyes, “Can you resist these eyes?”

Leonard gave James a flat look.

James sighed and then pulled a bottle of Whiskey out of his bag.

“I’m in.”

James grinned, “Excellent. Suit up!”

Leonard sent a quizzical look at James.

James sent a look at Leonard that conveyed his surprised in Leonard’s stupidity, “Night time, Bones. Gotta wear black!”

* * *

“So how are we going to do this, kid?” Leonard asked. All three of them were dressed in their Starfleet issued night ops training suits.

Pavel Chekov nodded next to Leonard, looking a little nervous, “Da, Jim, I do not vant this to get us in trouble…”

James grinned, “Don’t worry, I nicked the keycard off the secretary – by the way Bones, you owe her a date next Friday –”

Leonard scowled, “Jim…”

“Don’t worry about it Bones, she’s classy. Now Me and Jailbait here –”

“I’m not Jailbait,” Pavel protested.

“– will enter the office. Bones, you’re lookout. We’ll be in, find the ID, and out before anybody notices!”

* * *

James and Pavel were frantically searching through the Office of Cadet Affairs for the bag of I.D. Chips security took the previous night. It was harder than it looked for the two to both thoroughly search as well as make sure nothing looked out of place when they finished.

After thirty minutes of looking, they finally found the chips, successfully retrieved Pavels, and had just finished putting the rest back where they found it when –

“Excuse me, please identify yourselves. This is not your office”

Both of them turned them looked up and saw a tall lean figure, dressed in Academy Blacks – a professor, and with pointy green ears.

Before Pavel could freak out and admit what they were doing, James extended his hand, “I can explain”… except that he _couldn’t_ explain. He hadn’t really thought that far in advance.

There was an awkward silence as Commander Spock waited for the Cadets to explain themselves and James tried to figure out what to say. Commander Spock moved his hands behind his back, signaling his diminishing patience.

James stalled, hand still extended, “Let me explain.”

Commander Spock raised his eyebrow, in both invitation and intimidation, as if to say ‘well, get on with it.’

Pavel looked at Jim, silently wondering what he was going to say when from out of nowhere Leonard jumped out and hyposprayed the Commander. Commander Spock fought against the effects of the drug before finally collapsing on the ground.

James, hand _still_ extended, let his panic set in, “Oh my god…”

Leonard paled and looked to James, “I didn’t know what to do!”

Pavel ran over to the body, while James continued to panic, and looked down, “I usually have calm in situations, but even I’m freaking out right now.”

“You _hypo’d_ a _professor_!,” James yelled at Leonard, his voice started to go falsetto.

“Why are you yelling at me, kid? Ya’ll the ones who got _caught_ ,” Leonard yelled back, his accent becoming more southern the more frantic he got.

“You’re the one who’s yelling!,” James screamed back.

Pavel at this point was pacing around, frantically looking at James, then the body, and at Leonard, and then back at the body before starting all over again; Leonard had stood up and was pacing; and James was practically hoping around the room, trying to figure out what to do.

“We’re in big trouble, we need to do something!,” Leonard finally cracked, wringing his hands.

“Oh, I don’t know what to do! My whole brain is crying,” Pavel freaked, all this nervous energy making him practically dance.

Everything was spiraling down into a mess of panic when James had an idea.

“Guys, Guys, I have an idea. It may sound a little bit weird, but trust me.”

* * *

Lying on the floor of the Office of Cadet Affairs were four bodies when the only alien amongst them groaned and started to sit up. As if some sort of signal for the others, the other three started to groan and sit up.

“Please explain the circumstances,” Commander Spock ordered - his head still a bit groggy and his normal efficiency reduced – as he did not quite remember what had happened.

James let out another groan before saying, “Ohhh, we _all_ got _hypo’d_ by someone mysterious…”

Leonard corroborated, “Somebody _hypo’d all of us_ …”

Pavel continued, “And now we’re regaining consciousness… together…”

“I do not understand. Who is this man? And why does he have a hypo canister in his hand?” Commander Spock continued, trying to piece together the situation.

James, Leonard, and Pavel all looked sideways at each other, panic slowly rising when Leonard jumped and hypo’d the Commander again.

“Okay, kid, that was the worst idea ever. Can we just run now?,” Bones said, ready to drink this entire incident from his memory.

The three of them agreed and ran as quickly as they could from the office, James accidently tripping over the Commander in his haste.

* * *

So six months later when James faced his accuser, three cadets paled before it became obvious that the Commander did not recall or link the incident in the office to them.

The three made eye contact one last time, vowing they would never think about it again, until a few months later when Commander Spock called them into the labs on the Enterprise.

Despite the fact that James was now Spocks Captain, the moment Spock eluded to the fact that he remembered that night, he felt like an errant Cadet again. All three conspirators looked at each other before Leonard panicked and before anybody could react, there was a hypo in Commander Spock's neck.

As the three of them looked down at the knocked out Vulcan, they had a flash back to a year ago.

“Sooo,” James said, drawing out the ‘o’, “we run?”

“Da,” Pavel agreed.

The three of them shot out of the labs like bats out of hell.


End file.
